Heath Slater Debut Promo

I’M JUST ONE MAAAAAAAAAAAN! WWWWWWOOOOOAAAHHHHH WELL I’M A ONE MAN BANNND!



[The crowd erupts with boos as Heath Slater appears. As he approaches the middle of the stage, Slater performs a few power strums on his air guitar and shakes his head as his red hair swings along with it. He walks down to the ring shouting arrogant comments at the crowd sitting ramp-side like “I’m the best baby!” and “I’m the one man band!” while pointing to himself. Slater enters the ring, is handed a microphone and smoothes his hair back as his theme fades.]

“Dy’all know who I am?! Even morons like you recognize that I AT THE ONE MAN BAND BAABAAY! WOOOO! [He strums his air guitar] You see, last night I received a phone call from dubya see dubya saying that they desperately need stars. And who better to ask than the biggest rock star in wrestling history the One Man Southern Rock Band HEATH! SLATER! I am here to put this company on the MAP alright people?! Nobody in this sorry company can beat ME. I am the most talented person on this roster. I got the best looks, I can sing better than all of you, and most of all, I can fight! That’s why I am issuing an open challenge to any superstar in the back that thinks they can go against THE ONE MAN BANNNND BABAY!"

[Slater shoves the mic at the ring announcer and faces the entrance stage, knees bent, motioning for anyone to come get a piece of Heath.]

[This promo is open for any superstar to reply/challenge]
That was fun! Let know if I did anything wrong.

(Mick Foleys music plays on the titantron.)



(Mick Foley walks out to see a stunned Heath Slater. Foley Does his signature Bang! Bang! hand signs as he makes his way into the ring. Foley calls for a mic.)

Foley: Your challenge has been accepted.... however..... all I see is a barking puppy looking to stir trouble.... but if you wanted a match.... it'll be on my terms! No rules! No DQ! Anything goes! I want you in a Falls Count Anywhere Match on Smackdown! Only then will this barking puppy become a full blooded Pit Bull!

(The Fans cheer for Foley.)

Foley: I'll see you on Friday....

(Foley turns to leave when someones music plays....)

tbc by Heath Slater or anybody else

The all too familiar guitar chords hit and the crowd start to chant along with the song. The lights flash to the beat of the beginning drum. The fans in attendance can feel the excitement in the air as they know the next big thing will be showing up soon.

J.R.: Well Ladies and Gentleman, business is about to pick up for sure!

King: It always does when the man they call Brock Lesnar comes through that curtain in the back!

Cole: Oh be quiet! You two wouldn't know talent if it bit you in the ass!

As the bridge kicks in, out walks Brock Lesnar with his world tag team championship around his waist. He moves to the opposite ends of the stage getting the crowd excited and then proceeds to do his booby jiggle at the top of the ramp. Both men in the ring stare at this monster of a man who has decided to grace them with his presence. Lesnar finally reaches the ring, but walks up the steps and climbs into the ring. He steals the mic from Foley and begins to speak.

Lesnar: Foley, you stop right there. Clearly years of playing with that "bat" of a girlfriend you call Barbie has made you blind. This young man is fresh, young talent! And instead of saying, "I can guide him to the future," you challenge him to a Falls Count Anywhere match? What the hell is wrong with you!

The crowd becomes silent as they begin to wonder how to respond to Lesnar. During the silence the broadcast team decide to fill the void.

Cole: Finally, this man is making some sense! I'm proud of him.

King: What are you talking about Cole?!

J.R.: One of the most revered men in wCw is degrading the hardcore legend that is Mick Foley! How can you condone that Cole?!

Cole: SSSSHHHH he's about to speak again!!

Lesnar, after staring at the crowd for a little and walking over to Slater, raises the mic to his mouth.

Lesnar: I on the other hand can spot talent from a mile away. That's why I would like to say that I have decided to take you, Heath Slater, under my wing! Yes, Slater, you will learn from one of THE GREATEST SUPERSTARS IN THIS BUSINESS!!! Lesnar says this while pushing his hand on imaginary words in the air, the crowd begins to boo Lesnar. YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP!! YOU'VE NEVER RESPECTED ME!! I DON'T EVEN THINK ANY OF YOU REALIZE "THE CONNECTION" INCLUDES MEEEE!!! Lesnar takes a breath and turns back to Slater. Sorry about that. Now to start off this tutorship of you Slater, I will be in your corner for this match with Foley, and I guarantee you will win. Now, what do you say? Pick your words carefully.

Lesnar winks at Slater than wraps an arm around him, pulling him towards him and flexing around Slater's neck as he says "Pick your words carefully."

(Open for Slater or Foley to reply)

[As Slater is wrapped around the arm of Brock Lesnar, the mixture of Brock’s B.O. and Slater’s own fear cause him to panic. Not wanting to insult “The Next Big Thing,” he clears his throat and puts the mic to his mouth.]


Slater: [Nervously] Heh heh yeah man! Of course I want you in my corner! The One Man Band could always use another…..band mat-… ya know what? It doesn’t even matter! What matters is me beating you on Smackdown Mick Foley. Consider yourself stop number one on the One Man Southern Rock Band’s world tour baby! WOOOO!!

[Slater, with his confidence back, breaks away from Brock's arm and stands in the middle of the ring. Facing the hard camera, he begins to power strum his air guitar as if he had already won the match.]



Cole: I like this Heath Slater guy already! Look at that confidence just radiating off of him!
Lawler: The only thing that’s radiating Cole, is your bad breath!

[Brock smirks as he stares at Slater, while Mick Foley shakes his head in disgust for Slater’s arrogance as the show fades to commercial.]

PROMO CLOSED

{Official grade}

Damn. You guys went all out and Heath for a first promo this is just awesome. I am awarding the following points:

Heath Slater:5
Brock Lesnar:5
Mick Foley:3 (Yours just had a bit less content.)

Great job, guys.