Hey man, let's do this.
Positives-It's different. Man I was really getting tired of the "Get in the ring and talk for a bit" promos and it's like you've read my mind. We haven't seen something like this for a long time. So it's a breath of fresh air to read a promo like this (despite the fire cutting off my oxygen)
-It tells a story. We get some insight on how Kane became Kane. This isn't just a bunch of cliched imagery, there is some actual substance here which I enjoyed. I mean I even looked on YouTube to make sure this wasn't plagiarized which is a compliment to you!
NegativesThere were some technical errors. In the line " No sound is played except for an odd almost seering noise" I didn't know what you meant my "seering" because it isn't a word. I assumed you meant searing, but to me the sound of searing is like someone throwing a steak on the grill. I don't think that is the sound you meant, but maybe. lol Other than that though there weren't too many grammar errors which was great. Your promos have your signature shit ton of ellipses, but this time it worked in your favor.
-The line "A WCW logo popping up in the bottom right corner to let everyone know it is wrestling related." I thought was unnecessary. It took me out of the scene your words were creating in my head. When you started with "On televisions world-wide..." I laughed because I pictured the promo popping up on every tv no matter what channel. Like some kid watching the Teletubbies and then becoming incredibly horrified.
Suggestions-I think this promo could have benefited with some images. Maybe you could have put a picture of a flame or something in there or some creepy kids. Pictures aren't necessary for promos anymore so I didn't put it in the negatives, but I think it could have added some flair.
-It sounds like your going to be bringing back monster heel Kane. What do you want to do with him? Are you going to go after Taker? All we know about the landscape of Smackdown! right now is that it's being led by the heel team couple of Stephanie and Triple H. Is Kane going to fit in that story or are you going to be separate. Do you want titles or do you want to do your own thing? Some questions wou might want to think about before going into Age Two.
-If you're going with silent Kane, I think it would be cool if you continued this promo. Have more promos continuing the origins of Kane. I know I would enjoy reading them.
-Lastly you have Paul Bearer to use at your exposal. I think you could do some real cool things with him, but it's your choice.
{Official Grade}
4/5 Gave you a 4 on this one. Fix your technical issues and choices of words and I think you will do amazing in the future. When you're creating a promo that relies on the atmosphere you create, these minor problems can quickly take the reader out of it. Great promo, man I really enjoyed reading it.
