Caught Red Handed

[Josh Mathews and a camera man are walking backstage. They spot Heath Slater down the hall, who looks to be carrying 30 DVDs in his arms. Josh rushes to catch up with him.]

Josh: Slater! Slater, what are you doing?

Slater: It’s none of your business what I’m doing you moron!

Josh: What are you carrying Heath? Are those movies?

Slater:….No…

[Slater walks up to a door and tries to twist the handle. Because his arms are filled with DVDs, he fails and one of the cases falls to the floor. Josh Mathews quickly bends over and snatches the DVD off the ground before Slater can attempt to grab it.]

Josh: What’s this?

Slater: Hey, give that back, it’s mine!!

[Josh slowly examines the cover of the DVD and comes to realize what Heath Slater is carrying.]

Josh: Heath, is that Val Venis’s porn collection?!

Slater: NO! They’re just movies, now gimme it!

Josh: But Slater, this movie is called Venis in Uranus and it has a picture of Val Venis on the cover half naked!

Slater: SHHHHHH not so loud alright?! Okay they’re dirty movies, but don’t tell anyone alright?! Val let me borrow his collection after I impressed him on RAW tonight.

Josh: Slater that’s disgusting.

Slater: Disgusting?! This is NOT disgusting okay? Ya know what’s disgusting? The fat rolls on Brodus Clay. That’s what’s disgusting. Ya know what else is disgusting Josh? Me not getting the respect I deserve after beating both Miz and Val Venis in this tournament. People should be lining up to see the One Man Band alright? I shouldn’t have to do what I’m going to be doing in a few minutes here alright? I had a concert last night, and none of you even showed up! The only person that came was wCw Champion CM Punk!

Josh: He did?

Slater: Well, no but it was someone that looked like CM Punk! It doesn’t matter, what matters is I am going to become the next Intercontinental Champion and then people will wish they were a little nicer to the One Man Band Babay!

Josh: You sound pretty confident in your chances of winning this tournament.

Slater: Of course I’m confident! Look at my competition here! Mike Tyson? Blech, he’s past his prime. Did ya know he was a Vegan Josh? You think I’m scared of some bird loving Vegan? One Sweetness and he will be down for the count, I can promise you that. Kevin Nash? Man that guy is so slow I will be running circles around him. You see Josh, I’m not scared of them. They are scared of me! Heath. Slater. The One Man Southern Rock Band BABAY WOO! Now if you will excuse me, I have some business to do.


[Slater kicks the door in and walks inside a dark room. He closes the door behind him before Josh Mathews and the camera can see what’s inside.]

I love the creativity. As per the usual spelling and grammar are impeccable.


*****Official Grade- 5/5*****

This promo is ridiculous...



And I loved it. Hilarious stuff! Great job, Critic.