Posts : 454 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2012-03-29 Age : 26 Location : England.
Subject: A statement. 10/16/2012, 12:35 pm
[During RAW Jeff Hardy's music plays.]
[Hardy comes out and he is looking down whilst doing so.He looks up and taunts before running down to the ring and asking for a mic.]
Hardy:Creatures!Welcome back to another episode WcW Monday Night RAW!Tonight you get to see something you've seen for quite some time now...You will another victory over The Miz.
Crowd:Kick his ass!!!Kick his ass!!!Kick his ass!!!
Hardy:This is only the beginning, my creatures.At Halloween Havoc you will 'Havoc' in this very ring.When the Harlem Twist show their dominance by defending their titles against the number one contenders for this belt right here.
[Hardy lifts his belt in the air.]
Hardy:If somehow though 'The Awesome Game' are able to cheat their way to the top. It will not matter.
Crowd:WHAT?
Hardy:It seems that recently me and Booker T have been falling out.If we lose or win it may be the end of the 'Harlem Twist'.
[Hardy looks over at the stage and then looks down again.His face goes angry and he looks up.]
Hardy:Tonight I will deliver a devastating Twist of Hate to The Miz and see how he likes getting up from that.
[Hardy drops his mic and leaves.]
(Promo closed.)
Edge General Manager
Posts : 366 Reputation : 6 Join date : 2012-03-28 Age : 29 Location : Canada
Subject: Re: A statement. 10/17/2012, 1:29 am
{Official Grade}
Jeff: I was actually a little disappointed in this promo. You came with a message but you didn't quite deliver it. You had some typing errors and a little bit of grammar issues. Fix this, and you will be able to get a better grade. 3SP
Aaron Respected Member
Posts : 454 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2012-03-29 Age : 26 Location : England.
Subject: Re: A statement. 10/17/2012, 11:05 am
What errors?
Aaron Respected Member
Posts : 454 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2012-03-29 Age : 26 Location : England.
Subject: Re: A statement. 10/21/2012, 1:58 pm
Why did nobody tell me what errors there were?
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: A statement. 10/22/2012, 8:07 pm
Check with Edge. I didn't grade this one.
Jay
BUT , the first 2 colored spots are not spaced correctly.
Edge General Manager
Posts : 366 Reputation : 6 Join date : 2012-03-28 Age : 29 Location : Canada
Subject: Re: A statement. 10/23/2012, 3:17 am
The Charismatic Underdog wrote:
Hardy:Creatures!Welcome back to another episode WcW Monday Night RAW!Tonight you get to see something you've seen for quite some time now...You will another victory over The Miz.
This is what I was talking about with the errors Jeff. It doesn't make sense when you say 'you will another victory over The Miz.' It should state 'You will see another victory over The Miz.' It just makes more sense this way.
Any other questions, feel free to ask.
Aaron Respected Member
Posts : 454 Reputation : 3 Join date : 2012-03-29 Age : 26 Location : England.
